April 1, 2011 3 Comments
I woke this morning to news that rocked my world. Jono Bacon was a Fedora employee and he had decided to tell the entire world about it. His conscience had finally wrestled with his ID and won.
I must have written and deleted this blog post 100 times over the last week. I have wrestled with my conscience and moral sense of fidelity and feel I need to share what has become an increasing addiction, but in the words of an Australian all crimes are in the past. But before we reach forgiveness, we must reach acceptance.
Having met Jono this revelation tore a whole in the fabric of my universe. I was set afloat in a leaky boat. I could only hope that it was not going to be a Split Enz experience.
Life is a revolving door. Inside it’s spinning aperture enter good decisions and bad decisions. What you see when you depart that majestic pirouette often differs to what you expected.
I could see based on the quote above that Jono had been a little foot lose and was revealing his dirty dancing to the world. I could not so easily swipe away the respect I had for him though. There had to be more to the story. Perhaps Jono had a view to a kill and Mark was really a Jame Bond type spy trying to blow up the Eiffel Tower.
A few years ago I started getting pretty cheesed off with Canonical. I was tired of Mark Shuttleworth’s insistence to invest in building a Free Software Operating System that is simple, powerful and safe for everyone, his sordid obsession with making Linux and Free Software easy to use for everyone, and the frustratingly chipper and excitable Canonical workforce.
As I read on the smoking gun was revealed. Jono was not happy about what Shuttleworth was trying to do. His five senses were working overtime by the chipper excitable Canonical workforce. I now wondered how Jono had come upon this solution to the torment he was suffering.
I needed an identify for my new character. On one of my regular trips to Walmart to pick up cheese puffs I was wandering through the cookware section and thinking about a cool name. Maybe I could be Tony Darkraven? John Starchaser? Chuck Matrix? All seemed too obvious and too Hollywood. My alter-ego needed to be believable. Then, out of the corner of my eye in the kitchen utensils section I noticed the BSI Products Jeff Gordon #24 Big Spatula with Bottle Opener. Jeff Gordon-Spatula? No, that was too unusual, so I shaved off an f, adjusted the last word and had my new name: Jef Spaleta.
I could not believe that a spatula was the source of inspiration. I figured I would have to look around my home or yard to find mine. Alas, all I found was a river of broken dreams while listening to Elton John’s Too Low for Zero album on my Sansa Fuze. Was there any hope I would find the ghost in the machine and cure myself while walking in my hanging garden? With all the walking I was now hungry like a wolf; I would need to ponder this stunning news over Breakfast.
I have to be honest and admit I have no desire to be notorious so I must inform all of you that the shocking news did have a good ending.
And then I came to a stunning realization…
…what I am writing here is total nonsense and an April Fool…
…oh, and that I should never become a comedy writer.
I was very happy that this had just been some April Fools joke. My respect for Jono was left unscathed. I hope that many of you enjoyed his April Fool as much as I did. I could not resist blogging about it and adding in a few 80s song titles and bands just for good fun as well.
Thanks for the laugh this afternoon Jono!